An organization calling itself Global Orgasm plans to launch a massive communal orgasm initiative called “Global Orgasm for Peace” on Monday, December 21 and are encouraging all who care to participate, to dedicate their orgasm to peace.
Their reasoning being that climaxing for world peace via a massive conscious dedication of orgasmic energy can actually effectuate healing vibes on our planet.
No pleasure, no gain!
Hey, this might not be as ludicrous as it sounds: stop giggling and think about it. All quantum physicists* will tell you that our entire biology (body and mind) influences all matter. Therefore, a massive communal concentration of peaceful, loving and kind thoughts during a worldwide orgasm might actually create a synergy of such high physical energy that we can reduce global violence, hatred and fear.
Watta ya think? Could such community coming possibly be the key to a massive system of positive thought such that the world will spew so huge a spooge of biological and spiritual energy that we could mitigate modern ills and possibly save the world?
Its worth a try, right? I mean, why not? If engineers can blast hundreds of cigarette-size sticks of silver iodide into the sky in an effort to seed clouds for rain, then why can’t Joe and Jane Sixpack take matters into their own hand (s) and do their part for world peace.
*According to “The Global Consciousness Project, an international, multidisciplinary collaboration of scientists, engineers, artists and others (http://noosphere.princeton.edu), maintains a network of Random Event Generators, known as EGGs, located around the world. These EGGs produce streams of random numbers, which go measurably less random during attention-focusing events such as the World Trade Center tragedy, large antiwar protests, natural catastrophes, acts of war and mass meditations. Thus, collective human consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy.
Does one need a partner?
No. You can come alone. Or, come with a friend. Just, according to the Global Orgasm for Peace, COME!
When should I come?
Monday, December 21, 2009, the Winter Solstice, at 17:47 GMT (or anytime within a 24 hour period)
Where? Where ever. As long as you dedicate your orgasm to Peace, Love (And Jobs in the rust belt?) it will be a good thing. That said, the GOP (Global Orgasm for Peace) does suggest people in countries affected by war or violence really hunker down with the initiative. Yes, that would include the United States of America. If you are unsure if your country is at war please click here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ongoing_wars for a list of ongoing conflicts taking place around the world.
Don’t be a curmudgeon!
Don’t be early and don’t be late.
Extra credit given for multiple orgasms.
Feel free to practice in advance and remember to keep Global Orgasm Day in your hearts every day!
BUT WAIT! LOW SEX DRIVE?
If you are a man who at his point in his life doesn’t feel physically up to tackling world piece you might want a free sample of Confidence Rx, the most effective “natural” man’s pill on the market.
Women: sorry, no free samples. You require a different technology and should be familiar with Oxytocin Accelerator This homeopathic oxytocin formulation supports breast orgasms while boosting empathy in everyone; men and women.